the race

Women of substance, Aunts as Icons

my AUNTS

great ladies,strong 1st generation immigrant women who worked all their lives outside the home

raising large italian families

in the NYC area- like Brooklyn and on Long Island

they were my childhood Hollywood-ish icons who wore glamorous cloths and big teased hair

they went out to chic NYC night clubs to dance to the music of the big bands

they drank strong coffee one after the another,chain smoked and debated with each other and anyone else who happened by

they were my secret heros

strong women who wore "the superwomen" badge before it was even in fashion

they worked since their early teenage years until way past retirement age

they made the ultimate sacrifices for their Italian brothers- who garnered educational rights because they were the" boys" in a large, depression era family of nine children.

on any given night in Long Island , my three dynamic aunts would drive up to their local diner in their Cadillac and confidentally take over a window seat  after greeting the owner and gals behind the counter.

They would pull out their cigarettes and order their regular fare of strong coffees and perhaps a muffin .

They would spar among the 3 of them about this or that,each convinced their take was over the top the correct one on the specific subject. 

My red headed Aunt  B,would make faces as the others talked--especially  if we, the little ones were close by in another diner booth ! She could easily cast a humorous tone over any debate- her sweet hubby was a jazz pianist in NYC- a real cooool cat,as was the lingo!

My Aunt R, solid ,slim and energetic worked from the wee hours of the morn  to late nights- ,she cooked up a mean pasta , veal &; chicken cutlets to out strip the heavy hitting chefs of NYC's Little Italy- a gift she passed on to her own children. She was seen at the family weddings challenging Grandma,recall a mere 4ft something inches, to a fast passed foxtrot!

My Aunt L. had a voice that commanded attention and could have been a stellar attorney  or politician - she was a master debater, I recall in my mind's eye that she had a hollywood styled living room , you know the type --sunken down 2 steps ,all white, thick drapes, couches that looked like they dropped in from a Fred Astaire &; Ginger Rodger's set. She had the classic american kitchen knook, again shaped in a half moon perched near a window.

As a child the best part of being in their homes and in their care was the feeling of safety and a sense of family magic- as though their homes were magnetized  to draw still more fmily members to drop by, for more coffee with say a sesame seed italian cookie or better still, a canoli,-yum!!!

As I recalled the family seemed to come from everywhere at any hour, before & after work shifts, for meals , between meals ,there was always a sense of fresh anticipation,  healthy debate, lots of love and support .you were always welcome!

One day,my father, known as a serious surgeon type, showed a good sense of humor!!!

 In our old Pontiac, our young family arrived from New England after a 3 hour impromptu drive with my tiny brand spank'in new twin sisters  asleep in a basket---

it was twilight , if I recall correctly--- well ,Dad drove up to Aunt L's Tutor home and placed the basket at the front door, rang the bell and hide himself behind a bush.  Meanwhile, my other sister and I-  and my good spirited Mother ,pressed our

noses up against car window panes !

 Aunt L. answered the door in a sort of indifferent delight ,picked up the basket and quickly closed the door ,shouting out Thank you!!!

Imagine that night, we all laughed over and over  retelling the story of our clever spoof - and it seemed like so many  other Aunts & Uncles and many cousins arrived! and typical to my child-like perspective it seemed to get bigger and funnier and more clever!

here is wishing you a wonderful week of family time - what were your most precious memories of Aunts or Uncles?

fall comforts of the kitchen

a day in the kitchen ,listening to jazz,baking apple pie, fresh butternut squash and grilled chicken with fennel,fresh salad with tomatoes and vinaigrette!

enjoy your sunday!

take it slow!

ride a bike

check in with family far away

peace and gratitude to you!

my favorite phrase this week for my children/adolescents was gleaned from an elegant elderly Parisian woman who is now a grandmother of young adults - we shared a passionate discussion in the late summer at a dinner by the sea-

There are no privileges with out duties !

 yes ,i liked the sound of that notion because it cuts through a kind of underlying sense of ease and entiltlement that the pre-recession generations seemed to have grown accustomed to ...there are hidden gifts everywhere,it seems.

photos-last two mine,others unknown but, searching as we speak!

Strong Warriors in Pink

because Anali 's first Amendment fine blog inspired me!:)

 ladies and gents(who are urged to push their beloved women) please take note that October is half over and it is Breast health month---time to get organized with self health- mammograms,continued self-exams , talk to your female friends,relatives alike - it very well may save their lives...as it did mine! 

true ,it is the last thing you want to do, really,

 was it a guy who designed those wretched mammogram machines?

do you think they would ever consider smashing their scrotums/testicles into pancake thin objects to get a good view?Ah, no,i think not....

but, right now it is the best we have for initial screening and it serves a darn good purpose...

and i have debated whether to tell you my story,but,

 it might inspire ,even one of you ,to get a move on this goal for self health.

 Now some years ,(12 )ago, i was lying in bed at night after a weekend of pediatric call, answering say 6-10 calls an hour, when i thought it was a good idea to do my self exam,even if i was so exhausted i could barely see straight....

i used what in medicine is called the pizza method of palpating the breast,

 pressing the fingers on the breast tissue from the center outwards, in yes, a pizza slice pattern, doing this concentrically until all tissue has been felt for unusual masses,ie tiny little pebble like objects-

incidently -, i was breast feeding my 3rd child ,when during that night I felt what seemed to be a quarter-shaped pebble,- lets say,rock, immobile and non tender, hence unlikely to be related to lactation----

YIKES,i said quietly,  nb: hubby who can sleep through a war ,did not budge-

that is when i began talking to the BIG GUY  UPSTAIRS?" LOOK?" i pleaded," NOT FUNNY! I JUST OPENED MY PRIVATE PRACTICE, I HAVE 3 LITTLE ONES TO CARE FOR?

THIS IS NOT GOOD TIMING AT ALL!"

and then in my medically trained head a rush of adrenaline had me evaluating that post partum  breast CA is  usually deadly---crap this was not going to be a good night's sleep!

however,with fear pulsing through my veins, i marched myself to the Ob-Gyn the next day and got a mammogram - where a suspicious calcified density suggested cancer and the recommendation was to get it out ASAP,

So i tried!
I went to the leading Breast Surgeon,who had written the books and lectured throughout the world
 & he was not,
shall we say, very assertive about my problem or not taking this mammo seriously-

 "ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME ",
 i wanted to shout at this pompous surgeon from Alabama,-

 he actually,wanted to put it off another month because of his lecture travels-

i, of course, insisted,listening to that little voice we call intuition.

the next day ,in the OR,operating room,

 i recognized my old medical school classmate even in his mask, and smiled adding that" i would be back to my growing practice tomorrow!" the true grit of a committed physician,i thought!

Alas, i recall in my foggy awakening, hearing the southern drawl of the famous breast surgeon/ lecturer describing the lesion over the telephone,

then i recall seeing Matt ,the fellow medical classmate- and i offered-" i hope you did a little breast augementation while you were in there ,hee,hee!"-somehow, as i grimaced in my stupor-

although,funny, he was not smiling! 

Next ,i recall asking for a coffee, which was over the top delicious until ,

i saw my Dad, as the Chief of Pediatric Surgery he stood wearing his white coat,

 my handsome hubby,

 and the now notorious, squat, southern Breast Surgeon with a tupée:

Then,as through a tunnel, i heard him say- "well, i am sure glad i decided it should come out right away- what ?,my strong ego chiming in ,i thought, " did he say -He said He decided"- as i recall i was dogmatic,  and rightfully so, ----about being quick about this!!!!

next,letting my ego be droned out by his next words -
 "You have cancer -you will need more surgery,lots of chemotherapy and radiation! 

my eyes diverted to my Dad , remember, a surgeon himself, healer, taking care of everyone else's problems, Dr. In Charge,at that moment his eyes went watery & looking down -

well, i bucked up nearly shouting so all his colleagues could hear in the recovery room--
-"Dad, DO NOT WORRY!!

I AM FIGHTER !!!

I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING ALL MY LIFE -- I WILL BEAT THIS ONE TOO!!!

and

TO MY HUSBAND-I SHOT A LOOK IF CONFIDENCE!! I WILL BEAT THIS!

and so what is the moral of the story-!! instant warrior recognition!!!

1. do your SELF -EXAMS
2. jump on any questionable abnormal finding you may think you have
3. Breast cancer is not just a disease of only the OLDER woman- pre -menopausal cases are rising
4. get your mammograms annually after 40 or earlier if you have a family history
5. recall breast feeding does not prevent breast cancer!
6. Early diagnosis and early treatment works to decrease mortality and morbidity of the disease
7. you must be your own patient advocate!!! do not let a famous specialist determine your fate!
8. you are a partner in your care
9.  FIGHT BACK ---insurers,fight pharmaceuticals who limit your care to less than the STANDARD of care as deemed by the ACOG (amercian committee of ongology)
10. always get 2nd opinions
11. network
12. for me prayer,dance, being around only supportive friends and family was key to surviving my long course of treatment,8 years
13. finally if you feel deep inside that the ongoing treatment is not working or the risks outway the benefits-- think of options-you know your body better than anyone else!! 
14. DO SOMETHING!

Lastly, I took to be being an advocate, to lecturing ,

and using the arts to tell the human story of breast cancer- it is a story we are gaining on slowly,

one I hope my daughters do not have to witness again in their own lives--

here is a pin honoring the warrior spirit of the cancer patient

Twin mothers of some of my patients created 

my pin- it is of Nathor -

have a super day- get those mammos!!!!

1 Enchanted Evening for the Dancing Doc

"snap out of it girl!"-i said to myself!!! "up and into your special dress for willow's ball tonight!!"











photo-Simply Seductive

i can be from here to there in a snap if i try!

photos-Lagerfeld

some might say,my date has a full and rather important agenda,but,he would not miss it for the world!!

if we have to fly off as the clock strokes 12midnight ,i will have my very own

fairy spy shoes on!! (à la 007) luscious numbers yes?

frissoni shoes

you have know idea what is loaded into that diamond bird beak - bad guys beware!  and i am talking to you health insurance lobbyists,---- when i dance things could get ,well, a little crazy....

after champagne and the chocolate sweets at Willow's Manor's Ball -
 my dance card and shoes will have been put to good use-

                                                                     photos-Country French Antiques
 so happy to see some of the other special invitées-Yoli from Musings and my favorite Cuban in London

 ah ,when rest and modern medicine can not seem to heal fast enough -Dancing  sure Can!!!

do stop by Willow's Manor she indeed will be expecting you!

have a great night !

under the weather, still looking glamorous!

look ,i'll admit ,i am exhausted! i did have a spell of what may have been a run of the mill ,cold or it could have been the dreaded swine flu thingy- my daughter and i had the symptoms ,each and every one ,down to a tea!--- and it has lasted nearly 2 weeks- so maybe that is why all the fatigue etc,etc

 i don't much feel like playing games or have much of an appetite so - we called the doc and have antibiotics for a localized infection ----just a little sinusitis- !

onto more amusing  subjects:

have i told you the story about a local criminal who was recently caught on video stealing women's lingerie off their clothing lines ,bizarre little fellow- women in the local villages had to go to the station to actually identify their delicates so that the police could create a case for proscecution!

                                                                 personnally, i am happy to know blummers are still in vogue! because,truth be told he preferred the thong type undies....

and i meanwhile

have been resting up and visiting local brocantes for special antiques /collectibles!

lookey here,who knew princess phones would be also a prize possession?

here is one like the one my sisters and i had as tweens  in the 70's!

Carl Jung

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.


still i personally want to defy these odds with more happiness than sadness-care to join me???

photos-blog this is glamorous , MAbelle

Strolling Strong

Dimanche or Sunday

a day of rest

Family Time

prayer

good food

longer mealtime

 photo- tangobaby  

strolling

                                                                  

photo-mine

ok, maybe in heels,

photo- Chanel shoes via blog -beautiful things to share

here's a wish to you for a dazzling day where ever you are!

                                                                              photo-mine        

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.  - ANAIS NIN

a fall ,healthy for all!

have a wonderful cosy weekend!

ALBERT EINSTEIN

True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness.

fall has arrived but, not in terms of the chilly weather -

my daughter and her friends are dining outdoors tonight under the stars

 no need for the fur hats or faux fur

via Luxe Chronicles Rochas

some have traveled from the states,others from other parts of France

sitting cosy by around my Grandma's round New York wooden table

making apple pie for dessert

eating the end bits before the pie is really finished!!

ah, the slow season of gathering indoors or close to home after a walk in the vines or along the Orb river!

ALICE WALKER:

Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn't matter. I'm not sure a bad person can write a good book. If art doesn't make us better, then what on earth is it for.

bonjour willow!!!!! from Life at Willow Manor

dancing with a french boar!

yes, i was driving my golf cart sized car during the French hunting season

photo & design emersonmade

I was, you see,on my way home alone ,driving along the windy country  roads on my way back from a birthday party ,

it was dark and there, about half way home, i reached down to change the radio stations -suddenly,when i looked up --- quite a surprise was waiting for me

yes, indeed---- he was a member of the pig family- not  nearly as cute as say,

babe,

right---

he was though, the biggest darn wild boar i have ever seen

{-in fact he is the only wild boar i have seen alive}

and he chose to join moi

 under the moonlight -

so,instinctively

i honked and he seemed to dance or skip to my French tune , then off he trotted toward the bramble along side of the road.

photo-emersonmade

............it is beautiful time of year here and as such

... i have been giving some thought to the new

smells here , you see there are interesting

scents wafting around  these days in our little village in the south of France-

                                                             photo and design emersonmade

Imagine if you will ,the midnight and 2am runs of the wine makers out to their vines are now over,

still there lingers a sweet,yet almost sour smell from the large vats of local vignerons-  is it alchemy? perhaps--- no actually they are changing  the various vats.....summer is really over here...

the large tractors which had carted  the grapes,whites and reds, syrah, merlots have quieted until next year

                                                       photo-emersonmade blog

.... as the French can only describe them best--"red wine with bursts of rubies and notes of honey & spices

whereas others have the flavors of very ripe berries and persimmons which grow wildly here,

 still others possess elements of amandes and the spray of the Mediterranean sea!

from my escapades with the wild life let us just say that
 --Life here is quite earthy!!
 fields change colors and texture each season,not like Vermont or other parts of New England but, in a crop or agricultural sort of way! The hills are spotted with people,  young and old ,trimming vines ,picking plump grapes or melons, almonds, olives and the smells in the air are enriched by these natural elements.

In the end, it is to the table where the families meet , where the friends gather, where the wine is poured, where the smells of the earth mix with a hearty fall meal of roasted meats with sweet onions

 or say, with

 fragrant ,rather pungent cheeses mingled with wild purple figs and honey-

  yes, it is here in a small village in France where I call home.

photo paris apartment

What do you smell ? What are the scents of fall for you- is it  a fire of fallen leaves or brush? Tell me !!and do join me for a glass of red
wine?
landscape photos and more information are from Le Languedoc Roussillon

chromosomal talents and creative links

f a m i l y  t a l e n t s

like

                                                         
 daphné ---is a gorgeous ,kind , and awesomely talented  ceramicist  ,& mother of 4 brilliant young adults
who defies gravity with her stellar pottery-
she employs a unique use of color and organic forms which invite one to want to hold and own these items- they just look and feel precious ,like the clay has been transformed from raw earth into a kind of blessing for our homes.
Actually ,i am the proud owner of a rather large,copyrighted collection because she is my talented sister in law and she is ever so generous when she visits!!!
apparently though, my envious friends will have an easier time of ordering these beauties because she has been discovered ! i am not kidding by a rather big enterprise---ooola la and congrats to her!!! Also she has her own awesome website now http://www.daphneverley.com/about.php

the evolution of her ceramics is a wonderful testament to her journey as a woman and a talented artist
 so do visit !!

daphné to share in the adventure! now this photo brings me to yet ,


more
t a l e n t e d  f a m i l y

M. bénédicte verley  ,her bliss has taken her around the world with a camera, giving memories a solid ground for weddings and fashion and travel and family portraits.....these are the kind of photos that no digital can really ever pretend to capture- she has this knack of  portraying the essence of the person's spirit  on her film-

MBV Photography

another sister in law, this time her media is photography--
unbelievable photography--

       well renowned across the USA - featured in mulitple  Wedding Magazines !!







   needless to say, Ben is a mother,traveler and career woman with a profound depth and a strong quest for truth and authenticity- this translates into her work and that is what her photos reveal , a beautiful ,near naked truth!! love it!

Today was a tribute to just a few members of the family or family -in -law talent tree! i hope to dedicate a day each week sharing !
and as a funny aside- check out this coincidence which led to this post-- recently,i really needed a bit of encouragement for blogging -et viola---
i received an email from daphné  like this:

Hey ,

C'est moi, your computer challenged (but improving) sister in law to let you know how beautiful your blog is and that I joined it today after a friend told me about it without realizing that you were one of us!!

How's that for wild and crazy!?

She tells me about this cool blog,"Dancing Doc" from France. I respond oh, what a coincidence, my sister in law is just such a creature and then she continues to elaborate that Beni and Alix are mentioned there as well.

So I go to the site while we're on the phone and suddenly realize that it's your blog! You've gone GLOBAL !!

I am impressed with the content and with your ability to create such an appealing site. Great job!

Love seeing photos of all of you. Take a look at my web site and stay tuned as it's becoming a selling site as well as looking.

I have a project under my cape that takes too long to type and that I will further fill you in on via phone. I will also need your help in getting word out of new production product available soon.

Hope this finds all of you well and happy in your little slice of heaven.

Sending love and hugs and kisses,

daphne

have a super day and one never knows when the little connections and efforts we make will go out into the world and make ripples --- one of the reasons i love blogging and following so many of your blogs!!

bisous