riding the waves

OK, I am off my inner balance now- having heard those scary words of concern regarding ongoing testing for the dreaded CA ----- mammography was deemed OK ,now it seems to be questionable with micro-calcifications,not!!!!, a welcome word in the medical world....alas.....

I descend the stairs of uncertainty again, more poised than last time yet, living as I do on borrowed time...

not a bummer really, to one who was feeling gifted with more sunshine and sand than originally predicted....

 look ,

Am I not, actually dazzling in my beach hat, a real posture of an elegant international gal, who would even guess ????

no brooding allowed,no sitting still!!! no, giving in ,...

But,

you think ,I can sit quietly, musing my mistakes and /or my accomplishments which,

 despite all, seem not yet enough .........are they ever?

running to another shore in search of simplicity and family time , health care for my Franco-American family, yes,

 that was accomplished- a gift and gratitude !!!

breathing and balancing one's energies..between self, children, parents and spouse,..

.is there ever enough time or space or resources to declare victory ?!

I want to jump into some level of tranquility ,a cool pool of healthy body and mind

 and if one tries hard enough one will get there sans(,without,) doubt...."little by little"- my Dad always said....

he knew for sure the way forward....

This funky mammogram is not a clear determination of a return to the warrior's path,

 have faith one must say,

 believe

recall the early steps, ones simple beginnings , 

when my eldest was born, now nearly 20 years old,studious, honest, in love....

 what more can one want?

leap 

in faith ,in heart ,in love ,in miracles, in connections, in my possibly unfinished agenda....maybe more pediatric patients needing care,

 children needing my advice, my beloved needing my love and support....

LEAP......

only patience will suffice.....

 getting a grip and trying not see things though blue cloudy lens....

yes!!!! et merci!!